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Would you risk it?

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I've been sat at my desk this afternoon messing around with sounds as I get ready for the new term of Jellybeans Music classes and in particular, I've been thinking a lot, and I mean, a lot about new cuddling songs.  I know, I know, you all love Skinnamarink and so do I, but it has been eleven years now .........

I am very lucky to know many very talented musicians who perform and produce amazing music and this afternoon I was idly flicking through sounds when a particular lullaby started playing and before I knew it, I was quietly singing along and crying.

My mind's eye was suddenly filled with images of my mum singing it to me.  My mum singing it with my children and although I love the song, dare I risk bringing it to class when I know there is a very good chance I would cry?  Would you be embarassed if I did cry?  

For those of you who aren't aware both my parents are living with dementia and am largely unaware that they have children.  Most of the time, that is fine, well not fine, but I accept it, even though sometimes I long for the days when they were 'them' and we would chat, laugh, bake,walk the dog and sing together.  It's because of them that I no longer deliver as many Golden beans sessions these days while I am still working out my emotions.  So today, well, this little song brought back both the happy memories and the feeling of sadness/anger at what has happened and the reason I'm sharing this somewhat melancholy blog post? 

Music surrounds us all. It makes us happy, it makes us sad.  It gives us energy, it relaxes us.  We hear it in the shops, we hear it in our heads.  It is something that we share with our children just as it was shared with us.  It is universal, it is timeless and yes sometimes it is hard.  But I am passionate that we should, indeed must, surround ourselves and our families with music we love so that in years to come, one afternoon, they will hear a snippet of a sound and remember their childhoods with as much love as I do.

And the song that provoked all these feelings in me was 'I had a little Nut Tree' - tissues at the ready!

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